The Gauntlet

My friend is getting married in a couple of weeks. Naturally, a group of his friends had to pull him away for a weekend in order to test his mettle. To insure his fortitude as a man in the face of adversity... Our goal was to ensure the success of his marriage by proving his strength against challenges he might encounter later in married life. We want to know that his wife will be well cared for. (It is a little known fact that a bachelor party is really to benefit the bride... not the groom. {has anyone noticed that the groom... not the bride... has to endure heinous misery and exposure of weakness during one of these events. How could that be confused with fun?})

The bachelor party that I attended this last weekend was no exception. Josh was required to hunt big game (he must be able to feed his family), Defend himself in a time of war (Life, Liberty, Property), Build a functioning shower from a box of junk (sow's ear to a silk purse / cleanliness is next to...), Demonstrate a thorough knowledge of important facts about his bride-to-be, and recognize subtle changes in her appearance without outside assistance. When he failed, he was forced to endure brutal tauntings and push-ups in the freezing ocean surf. (during a pacific storm in almost total darkness)
Finally, he had to face each of his friends in hand to hand combat and defeat them in "The Gauntlet" before he was able to claim the "Red Hot Flaming Love Pepper"... a symbol of his triumphant masculinity (and also helpful in keeping mosquitos away)