Part IV: Allana Joy

Here’s our situation: Heidi’s in the Jacuzzi trying to rest… she is completely spent. We have a baby that’s turned posterior. Heidi is off Pitocin and off the fetal monitor against the Dr’s request. She can’t go back, but doesn’t seem to have enough energy to continue.
While Heidi and I were alone, Nurse Darlene called the company that manufactured the fetal monitor. She discovered that using a “telemetry unit” (think wireless network for a fetal monitor) she could put the monitor on Heidi while she was in the Jacuzzi so we could honor the Dr’s recommendation and still stay in the tub. We could also put Heidi back on Pitocin, but allow her to labor in the Jacuzzi which would help lighten the labor, and possible ease some pain. She might also be able to rest better between contractions. This seemed like our best bet… since we couldn’t go back. We’d long since passed the point of no return.
Somewhere near this point, I stepped out to the waiting room to explain to our family and a few friends what was happening. (Later, I learned that Darlene had been giving them regular updates, and had helped out a great deal). It was hard to keep all that I was feeling in check as I explained where we were at. How tired Heidi was, that we were trying to compromise to accommodate the doctor’s recommendation. I was probably more tired than I realized. I asked them to pray. (They immediately called people all over the state to pray with us too). I went back to be with my girl.
As I explained the situation to Heidi, she said one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard her say… especially when I could see the change that came over her as she said it. She looked at Amy & I and said “I’ll do whatever you ask me to do.” As she said that I felt her turn over her entire being, body, and soul to us. She let go of everything. I also saw, that she relaxed almost immediately. She didn’t gain more energy. She just was somehow able to release all that she had left inside.

We had to turn the baby. A posterior baby meant extra difficult labor… and we’d already had enough of that. It had to change if Heidi was going to make it through.
Amy had said what we need to do… but knew that Heidi would never do it. But this wasn’t a normal day. Nothing was normal today.
Heidi started by going through a series of position changes in the Jacuzzi, changing position with each contraction (or 2). Next she did was seemed impossible. We helped her out of the tub (she’s still wired to a fetal monitor and has multiple IV drips/ pumps tied to her) we take her outside the bathroom floor and put her face down on the floor. She helps us lift her legs up on to a “birthing ball” (think super-duty beach ball). With her face on her arms in a kind of “wheel barrow” position Amy begins to swing Heidi’s body back and forth on the ball. (Amy is holding Heidi’s legs up high, Heidi’s hips are on the ball) The hope is that using gravity to let the baby slide “up”, and then using other positions between times in the wheel barrow position, we might roll the baby over into the correct position. Heidi says 3 times is all she can do. She does 4 with a little coaxing from Amy. I felt after the 4th time that whatever needed to happen had happened. It was time to move on. ( As it turned out the baby had rolled over just as it needed to… but we couldn’t know that for sure at the time)
Heidi went back into the Jacuzzi and continued to move through positions with contractions. But after a short time she says “I think I’m having the urge to push” (good news! That’s her body’s signal that she is getting very close!!)
Nurse Darlene offers a choice, 1) continue in Jacuzzi and let Dr Peterson check for progress in a while. Or 2) She can check for progress right now. Heidi wants to know right now. (Amy, very cautious about what we might discover reminds Heidi that if she isn’t dilated as much as she hopes, the dilation is a poor measure of progress)
Heidi is at 9cms! She is totally exhausted, but for the first time in days she can see hope. Maybe there really is a baby, maybe this will happen after all. Nurse Darlene tells Heidi that she can push a little… but only very gentle pushes. Heidi is happy to oblige.
After a short time we move to a supported squat on the bed. (make the bed shaped like a chair with a shelf at the bottom. I sit behind her and she leans back against me in a squatting position.) Nurse Darlene says she things Heidi looks like a Buddha Goddess. As she sits peacefully beneath the spotlights that were just turned on and pointed at her. Heidi continues to make gentle pushes with each contraction… things have moved from despairingly slow to incredibly quick! With a contraction we hear a ripping popping sound… Heidi’s water finally broke. Only a little comes out, the baby is blocking it in. Amy gets mineral oil to help massage Heidi to reduce the chance of a severe tear. Almost immediately, she announces that she’s felt the baby’s head. Heidi is further along than anyone expected. Nurse Darlene warns that we’re probably about an hour away at this point… she’ll call the doctor when we progress just a little more. Amy insists that the baby is moving noticeably with each contraction. (I’m torn in two. I want to support Heidi right where I’m at… but I want to feel my baby!!!). After another contraction, Amy and I switch positions. I can see my baby’s head! I can feel my baby’s head!
Nurse Darlene takes a look… and runs for the phone. This baby is coming much faster than she expected. Heidi keeps her gentle pushes. Nurse Darlene makes an emergency call for a doctor (her first call to have Dr Peterson come seemed to go unnoticed) Instantly 5 people burst through the door. Everyone is talking at once. “What’s wrong!” “Nothing, I just called for Dr Peterson and nobody responded! Everything is alright.”
I’m watching my baby being born. The baby’s head comes out… purplish pink. I can’t see the face. The head is compressed into such a long shape that I’m instantly worried for her, though her coloring doesn’t seem too bad. (considering what she’s doing right now. I honestly saw images from the first “Alien” movie when I saw the shape of the head. )
Two hands in blue gloves reach past me. “I’m just going to help get the shoulder out.” I’m horrified that this person just grabbed my baby’s head and is twisting and pulling!!! (I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl, but obviously they’ll be paralyzed!!! It was difficult to hold my tongue) With a final push, (Heidi is being encouraged to push for real now!) our baby almost pours out. As the baby comes out, in the instant before it touches the bed, I see that we have a baby girl.
There’s a ½ second pause. I’m alone with my new little girl. She’s mine. I’m someone’s daddy. Its just the two of us.

She eases into a soggy cry. Arms come from everywhere. She’s wrapped up and moved toward Heidi. I’m lost in the crowd.

What an answer to prayer. She seems healthy (she’s still crying)… her whole body turns almost fluorescent pink when she cries. Heidi has her little girl on her chest. Nurse Darlene does a physical of the baby so fast that we didn’t realize it even happened until she mentions it an hour later. Someone tells all the nurses “don’t clamp the cord, they’ve requested that it stop pulsing first.” I move through the people to see my little girl on Heidi’s chest. Heidi is so tired… but now she’s alive. All her color is back. She’s awake. She’s smiling. She just ran the longest race… and won.
Someone asks permission to clamp the cord… “it’s stopped pulsing now.” “yes, that’s fine”. Moments later I’m directed to cut the cord…. The symbolic separation of child from mother. The final disconnect from the comfort of the womb. That’s my job I guess.
Heidi gazing at her little girl. The nurses have towels around the cord (now white as the blood has returned to the baby). Someone hands me surgical scissors and points to the area between the clamps. Someone warns me, “it’s pretty tough.” I’ve done a lot of dissections, I have a sense of what tissue like that might feel like. It is tough. I cut slowly for Heidi’s sister who is taking photos. More than anything, I just want to be holding my little girl with Heidi… I feel hints of envy. Heidi is bonding so deeply with the baby. This is what is supposed to happen. It’s exactly what we wanted. I want to bond too. (Later I got to spend a lot of time with her. It was (and is) wonderful to walk around with my little girl. I think I’m going to like her.
Somewhere in the middle of the confusion, Dr Peterson arrives. She’s not happy. Nurse Darlene asks “What do you need doctor?” “I need to be called on time!” I suspect that Dr Peterson thought that she was called late on purpose. She probably also believed that Nurse Darlene was responsible for our choice to not follow her directions. Heidi and I were only dimly aware of these things in the background. There was one thing that eclipsed everything else.
“What is her name” “She is Allana Joy. A-l-l-a-n-a.”